I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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