We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
