ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
false alarm. still invincible.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
