You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
