Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
