Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
