so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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