u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
