too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
