i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
