i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
