When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
