Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
