Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
