then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
