No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize