Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What drink are we having for lunch?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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