i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize