YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
