Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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