did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she pinky promised me she was 18
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
