Porn is love you can see.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
