No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
