We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
