It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
