great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
