I should be sponsored by Trojan
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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