bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
