i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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