I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
