i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
