I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize