Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
