Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
