Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
