she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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