I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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