Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
