so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
