Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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