If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
