Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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