is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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