Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
