why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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