Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
