He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize