pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
