My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
