thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
