why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
