it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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