Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think my fart just growled at me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
