I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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