He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
