Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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