I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize