That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
im holly from the hills drunk
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
