i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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