I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
