Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
