Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
