u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize