my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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